Keeping Up Appearances

You're name's Johnny but your 'squad' greet you with 'J flex', '(smoke too many) Js man, JZ, or when they're all ketted up 'bass line Junkee'. 

Days are described by you as a 'hustle and grind' as you shove your munchie stash (dominoes boxes) out the way and replace with a wad of cash (nan's xmas prezzie) and a Bathing Ape shoe box. Hard. 

Friends come and go but your 'Blessed Boys' ride with you forever. Before going out you all get your 'smoke on' and listen to a guilty pleasure : BBK's party anthem 'Too Many Men'. This tuuuuuune reminds you of the lack of girls in your life so you re download tinder and update your bio. 'Lookin for a bad bitch who hits the blunts but never stunts'. (Profound).

At the party you show up on bike #roadmanstatus which may have been your younger sisters but when you've ripped off the pink thatched basket no man needs to know ;). Greet your boys how you always do 'Yung Benny man, you calm?'. Safe, so fucking safe. You count your blessings that you came wearing your waviest garms (camo bucket hat and stussy sweatshirt) and can't wait to get the slags in.

Your names Jennifer but since you've been at Leeds you thought it sounded better as Jennii. 

Before you enjoyed groupon deals at Pizza Express and horse riding but now pastimes include 'skanking' to deep house, MDMA and sucking people off in the toilets.

Sometimes under the 'notes' section on your IPhone you write 'eat sleep rave repeat' as a crucial reminder of your lifestyle/upcoming plans.

Days are spent coming down from some chronic illegal substances (DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!) and surfing da web. Buying school books. Lol joooooookes you're buying Bindis from Asos Marketplace, a couple cute hand woven halters and these 90s throwbacks called scrunchies. You feel a bit 'kooky' doing all this but remind yourself that it's vintage man. Good vibes only x


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