15 February 2015

A LIL Retrospect


Goldie was my first and only dog (so far).

u can see the comfort in his eyes

I knew I loved G Dawg instantly and named him Goldie because it was obscure. The color of his mane was a golden tone. Lol. When we got him he was shivering in the backseat of our car and every night for a week would howl because he didn't like to be alone.

fuk u paul

A week later Goldie developed a bought of arrogance: climbing on the dinner table and charging at people. When this happened I'd reward him with a Smacko which was some queer dog chew that was meant to  resemble a streak of bacon. Once my Dad lost a 500 pound note and as I went to pick Goldie out from his basket he had a smug look on his face. Either he had sniffed a 'fit' dog's ass or something else was up. As I looked down at his cot I saw a chewed up 500 pound bill and smiled. My dad ignored us that evening.

Goldie was my kindred spirit: afraid of almost everything. When we went for walks his hair pricked up when a cat would make eye contact and he'd shudder when any man would speak.

Michelangelo's 'THe Kiss' or jus Goldie n Darling ?

Then Goldie found love which I was jealous about, even though my 'sturdy' physique and piercing blue braces attracted many eligible batchelors (sweaty 9 year olds). He would go for dates at the house opposite with a dog called 'Darling'. Darling's owners were Phillipino and would play karaoke from about 9pm to 5am. We told Goldie to dump Darling a week later. Poor babe.


s/o to all the ppl who made this career possible x

To put it nicely I wasn't the most athletic of kids. Volleyball was the only thing I pursued for two reasons 1.) My mom helped organise it and 
              2.) Free pizza afterwards.

A lot of my time was spent at home, wearing no trousers (because I hated how they clung) watching Kim Possible. 

One day, as I was listening to Enrique and eating a burrito, thoughts of panting and being picked last for sports and a palpable awareness of my inability to be active hit me. I knew I had to find a talent.

I then started to dedicate a couple of hours each day at the studio (normally the kitchen)  writing a couple rough bars. They were all pretty emotional and based on 'heartbreak' ."I hate it how you walk past me, like I'm invisible, like you can't even see me" was a personal favourite. Did I consider it poetry? Quite possibly, yes. False praise from my parents and my dog pushed me to take my material elsewhere. 
Just anuther fan admiring my material x

Singing whatever, wherever to whomever became the general notion. I was stunned to learn most people actually didn't want to hear me sing. I actually got told "Anna could you please stop singing" midway through Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. Stupid bitch. She wasn't beautiful any way. 

The months that followed this event were tough to say the least. I reminded myself that Timbaland probably got told he couldn't sing either and that put me at ease for a while. The nights of swigging J20 in a melancholic fashion wore off and I felt 'myself again'. I tested out some new 'careers' which didn't seem to work:


As much finesse as I gave off, my K Swiss shoes hurt me too much to keep rocking


I ventured to Sri Lanka to try and collect diamonds but got too stressed and
developed the habit of smoking

THE MODEL:          

Even though as I keep reminding you I was very striking as a yout,
I felt the hired photographer was trying to make me look like Rose from Titanic,
or a mermaid that hangs off the front of a ship. #fukthat

                RE INVENT MYSELF:

I decided to pack up and reinvent myself where nobody knew me.
Didn't work either, I just got asked 4 photos :(



6 February 2015

What's Cooler Than Being Cool?

Since I go to art school (eat sleep art repeat x) I have discussed art sometimes either to myself or with a few people I socialise with. Recently there have been several convos about 'cool art'- something that seems to be everywhere at the moment with the 'youths' of today.

For example, I went to a photography exhibition which to be fair I felt quite 'cool' in. I had a 'cool' drink (vodka n cranberry), because it's red and that's like the colour of passion or whatever #Rothko. I was pottering around gazing into the art, hoping someone would scout me to model with my freshly bleached brows (sadly they didn't but u cant have it all ;). Any way, these photographs that were all over the wall were supposed to be an 'intimate' account of this chick's day 2 day routine, filled with her friends captured 'candidly'. Unless I'm COMPLETELY socially unaware, people's day to day routines don't consist of their m8s lying topless on a basketball court, sitting in an American Apparel lace bra or smoking in a bath tub. Was the grainy effect of the camera supposed to make it more relatable, or perhaps haze the idea of real life and fantasy?

Paint on Keys 2015 

To my mind, an accurate visual representation of my day would be a picture of me taking a shit, a cute shot of my Netflix account, laughing at people and talking on the phone.

  The thing is, it's everywhere now. Look at I-D, POP, all these magazines, just full of naked girls eating pizza or maybe getting off with each other. They all happen to have six packs and thigh gaps and probably gapped teeth too #larastone. I don't really get the message here; are we doing something wrong? Are our lives missing 'edge'?

I Smoke In Noir ±

Art is expression and I think that you should be able to express whatever the fuck you want, but it should be genuine. If you make art because it's cool; you're clientele is going to be a bunch of lost fucks who nod their heads ferociously at your work because it has been deemed as cool. I mean is 'cool' even 'cool'? 

Most of this art is stemming from the internet (mostly tumblr) therefore is much more accessible to the masses. Then the whole '1 UP' dilemma arises of name dropping obscure artists you've found on someone called 'MinimalLife' on Instagram who posts black and white pictures everywhere with really effective captions such as "_________". Fuck. So emotive babe!!

I got inspired from this craze and decided to make a piece of 'cool art' on a topic I'm exploring at the moment. I thought pretending to have sex with someone would be really avant-garde and shocking!!! Also sex sells so Fuk it!! Enjoy xxxxxxxx