28 May 2014

Friday nite fever

I went to a gig the other night.. This guy invited me and then pussied out at the last minute. Despite it being his friends gig, I'm a risk taker so I went. (Fuukkkkk).

As usual I was looking sultry/ overly suggestive wearing boyfriend jeans and an alien tshirt. If this wasn't wild enough I wanted to stop feeling like a plastic bag, so I bought Katy Perry's false eyelashes! Total firework lol

We crop up at  the place that clearly knew I was arriving cuz it was poppin. I automatically saw all my m8s, aka people I've stalked on fb. #welcometothefuture. It was bless cus I told the paparazzi not to show up.  I tried to expand my elite social crew by making frends. I told a guy he 'could've played the role of peter in peter pan', I grinder on some random sleaze who looked like an extra in a Ricky Martin music video and I pretended to look high. This usually gets me in w the 'alt' crowd. Just snort a little bit when you're coming out the loos. Ur saying with your eyes 'this ain't hayfever ;) ;) #cocaine.

After I got called a groupie from the bouncer (I prefer the term roadie) it was time 2 cut.

I started feeling like Courtney love or some shit cuz we got invited to an afta parti!! Aka some dudes yard. We get there and I'm chain smokin trying to give off the impression of
'Liv fast dye yung' and 'my lungs r black like my soul '. This could've been somewhat executed, if u minus my personality and the fact that I knocked two beers and a side table over.

People started chattin about music n dat, saying 'the 60s was the best in terms of music'. Just to stand out and make a name for myself I was like 'naaaa the 80s was by far the best.' At that point I felt liberated, like I had.... Been apart of summink!!!

Then it went downhill. :( I got asked who my favourite musicians of that time were.
Instead of saying any of them, or saying a vague 'funk', I sat there, speechless,breaking a sweat as if on question time or something.i felt like I needed a fucking phone a friend option. My friend was like 'don't put her on the spot! Hehe' , as I just sat there like some illiter8 red neck.

I felt it was time to then spend my Saturday studying the 60s, 70s and 80s so I cud be prepared 4 anything in life. It's hard when ur blessed with short term memory and dyslexia #pray4annz. I then recited the dates to my parents as if in a spelling bee. I think they are worried about my mental health.

Any way,


18 May 2014

Suk u mentary

In lyfe I seek perfection. As my blog is my lyfe I'm seeking perfection on this too!! There4 I have moved on up, from a small fish in a big pond, to a big fish in a small pond (poetic)...I am not a you tuber, nor will I eva be. This is a one off, as I CBA to type.

Yes I made a 'vlog'. It's pretty intimate, heart wrenching and emotionally jarrin. Plz brace urselvz!!!!

7 May 2014

Or Na

I try to update this crucial list to get you thru life often. Here it is.
And here's the song I was listening to whilst writing this dog shit - 

Over it list:

1.) Uni Pictures

Ok, obviously when you're at Uni you're gonna have loadsa pictures at clubs n shit. I get it.
However, it's getting really old. Seeing my newsfeed clogged my pictures of jOE dOGs tagged in a picture at some club where here's looking angry and some joker comments 'Joe!!! Angry! lol'. Please.
I hate more than anything the yats who throw their hands in the air like 'fukkkk I'm in heaven' when in reality they want to GTFO.

BULmErz pear cider 4 da win!!!!! ;)

2.) E cigarettes

fukkkkk, is that James Dean!???!

Sitting on the bus. Plugged in 2 ma music and I'm feeling moody, staring out of tha window. All of a sudden, a cloud of smoke appears, like a mist in the rainforest. Is sum1 smokin a d00bie in the bus??!!! 

Then I see the blue fucking lazer lite and my hart sinks. It was an E cigarette. Like, please just get a nicorette or even suck on a pen if ur feeling crazy, because it's so lame seeing these fux who think they're illegal 'smoking' in public. 

3.) Statuses telling us ur feelings n dat

'Hi peeps :D Just went for a scrummy lunch w mum (AND DAD))!! LOL and we had a roast. Feeling sad cuz now my tummy hurts from being full!!'

This is why I hate Facebook atm. Please just tweet what you've eaten or how you're feeling or maybe talk to a therapist. Nobody gives a shit! X

4.) Smiling with ur tongue in your teeth

seriously tho?

People can bak me on this one. (u know who u are, hold tite). You know those people who smile with their tongue out and then like bite on it? I just don't get it. Maybe they are trying to look really happy and/or cute? Keeping mumzy sweet n dat.. in reality you just look special. 

Keep doing u if that's your thing but if their was a dislike button to hit, I'd hit it bby!!