Parti House

So I haven't been out in a while due 2 tot@l werk ova load!!! lol so on my lunch break I thought I'd sit down and watch a party on CHANNEL 40D to live through their experience.
where da rav3 at???!! 

"With no advert breaks, no commentary and no interruptions, a line-up of top international DJs - Grandmaster Flash, Annie Mac, Horse Meat Disco, Soul II Soul, Erick Morillo and A-Trak - play live to the nation with six hour-long sets in a clubbing experience like no other. This is not a programme about clubbing; this is the club." 

Wot is dis? U ask. --- It's the new show 'Party House' on e4. DUH.

First off, the show starts at Bussey Building (classique), and some irrelevant market in Peckham. #trendy #SOUTHLDN!!! #Giggs

Then it zooms in to these three absolute yats. One with blue hair ( so five years ago ) with bright yellow teeth, some fatter Blonde Kate Nash lookalike and some fuck who looked like she tried for a job at Grazia. They looked like extras in 'My Mad Fat Diary'. And that's a compliment to dese luvely ladies. lol.

Then the other shits who make up the 'crew' are in Beyond Retro on Brick Lane. This shop's a bit unknown, so hold tight if you don't know of it yet ;). Some gal who thinks she's Jameela Jamil but looks more like a wax figurine is parring off her closeted gay friend who is the 'heartthrob' of the bunch. Picture Enrique's ugly younger brother. 'Omigawdddd ur so weiiirddd, like that top is totes odd!' says the girl to this dude as his picks up a 'controversial' tie dye vest. Need I say more.

Already gripped by the enthralling plot line, things heat up a lil when the frisky 'Shoey' crops up on the scene. He looks like he'd serve pints up at the local Wetherspoons, and maybe audition for the voice singing a Matt Cardle tuuuune m8! He clearly thought he was the Jamie Laing of this bunch, which was very very painful to watch. They have an irrelevant conversation about 'birds', 'booze' and 'banter'. (the 3 bs!!!!!! x).

On the edge of my seat, the party house is opened and all h3ll breaks loose. Shoey is the 'MC' for the night, and bless his heart n soul, sounds like an ex alcoholic magician 'IS EVERY1 HAVING FUN???? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, IS EVERYONE HAVING FUN???!!!!!'. At this point all the girls are hammered off one Mojito (WKD) and giggling dere pants off at this joker. Blue hair chick gets onto stage and steals the mic. The whole room stops and stares. She seduktively utters into the mic 'You're getting laid tonight. Right here. Right now.' and grabs Shoey.

Shoey rejects her and she screws Enrique jr.



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