23 February 2014

I dunno Dawg

Dudes 101

As you all know, I'm an international playboy, dik magnet, heart throb etc. However, sometimes even I get confused with men. After reading some article about guys I thought I should write a piece. Lol. It's random, but jus keepin it real.

1. 'Playing it Cool'

Ok so it has been brainwashed into us that 'playing it cool/aloof/mysterious' is a turn on. I mean, you don't want to come off too strong right? The problem is, most of us aren't Zooey Deschanel from 500 days of summer, or R Gos in Drive, so it's a bit pathetic. Nowadays, both guy n gurl are playing it cool when they are interested, so you're fucked. Deep down you want to scream ' I luv u like a love song bby" but instead you avoid contact and talk to their friend. I guess some do this (I don't of course hehe) because they're scared of rejection, or have watched too many rom coms. Unless one or the other (boy or girl) is overtly talkative, or less casual then the other, the result is anti climatic. You just remain too people two pussy to do anything. FYI most indie guys will try this whole cool front, whereas da lads are another extreme 'ur a well hot bird n dat, !!'. As I've said before I usually stick to sarcasm or insults. l o l ;). Maybe it would be easier 2 fall in love if people were honest and stuff. Ya feel



2.) the first d8

I don't know about guys, but for girls, it's pretty much the same bullshit before the date. You're probably gonna mix some vodka w coke in an Evian bottle for the journey, think of topics to talk about like da football or porn or some moronic dog shit, the text your gal friend like 'omg hart racig soooooo fast lol a bit drunk!'. Then you'll get to, probably a pub, he mAY buy you a drink if you're lucky, you'll talk about your interests and whatever, and then leave. Or maybe if you're on it, go back to his. The thing I don't like about all this is that, you're not yourself. You both are nervous, so project more awkward versions of yourselves. So you go away thinking 'why did I do that ?' Etc etc when to be honest it's just the pressure and the nerves. It's easier when you're friends first, because obviously the pressure load is off. I'm legit over dates, as I'm usually bored after twenty minutes.

3.) da lookz

Let me quickly break dis 1 down :-

-smelling nice is good

-stunning looks are so 5 mins ago. Most Amazing looking guys are either stupid, gay or both.

-ugg boots are vile on men. Like seriously

-consult us b4 u cut your hair

- checking yourself in thhe mirror is gross

-farting is lol !


A doggy dog dog xxx

4 comments:

  1. Datez are totes boring or awkz.

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  2. Your blog reminds me of the 'Rise of the Idiots' Nathan Barley episode/running theme.

    ReplyDelete
  3. love that episode. hope thaz a compliment lol XX

    ReplyDelete