Going out in London : SUX

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$$$$$$

London: the city of dreamz, culture, whatever. Not gonna lie, I'm getting bored of U m8. I never really could picture myself living anywhere else than here, labelling myself a ldn gal, citi slicka.. u get the point. The thought of going to Uni in a rural place makes me feel like throwing up. Who would want their hotspot to be Zizzi or PUSHING it Costa Coffee? The irony being, now that I live in South, my local joynt is a run down Falafel shop or maybe the buzzin' self-titled 'Beyonce' hair salon. At least, I could boast this place has 'character' and 'un pretentious charm', like some middle aged reporter from the Telegraph.

I now am reassessing staying in London next year. There are a number of reasons, but actually I'm getting fed up of the night life.

You basically have 3 places to go:

1.) The 'hip' bar:

We're talking 'Ping', 'Dirty Martini', 'Doodle Bar'. I have been to these places quite a bit, and now am getting sick of them. This weekend I went to Ping bak2bak (fri/sat), don't judge me. I was wearing the same outfit as well, because I wanted to create that whole 'just got bak frm my boyfs house and didnt have nufin 2 wear' vibe. The place was filled with mid twenty something, River Island wearing fux who either looked like they were on some twisted idea of a hen nite or thirsty for some D, all anxiously patting their 'peplums' and clutching their fake jewelled clutches sipping their 'girly' cocktails. Eugh.

I, on the other hand, am inelegantly holding a Diet Coke which I paid 3 POUNDS for, trying to dance. There is no space. I then tried to scout sum eye candi, however, there weren't any decent guys around the place. There were some blatant UCL foreign students with braces on, taking Blackberry videos of themselves singing to 'Beauty and a Beat' and crackin up. The others all looked like ugly Spencer Matthew try-hards who probably are either personal trainers or professional slobs heheheeheheeh. I had to leave after ten minutes because I was so rawly let down. Sowwi Ping :( ur reign is ova babe.

2.) SkAnK Da NiTe AwAy

I love 2 dance. I love 2 feel the music.  Apparently I have 'signature moves'... which I'm taking as a solid compliment. Since paying for a night out is a gamble I normally like to make sure a good DJ is playing ie : Boddika, Happa, D GUETTA (lol jus kiddin ;) ), etc etc. Unfortunately, along with this list comes a fucking huge queue at places like XOYO, The Egg, Warehouse, Area, Fire, whatever. The worst people are in the queue. Latymer students who have just discovered the tot@l twippiness of MDMA who maybe will wear some bright leggings cos they're raverz, chavs/indies in bucket hats and those fucks who wear disco pants, painted on eyebrows and bindis. Like, really?

These places were cooler and less ass hole infested when I was 16/17. RiP dEm DaYz. If and when you get inside, it's so much of a fucking moshpit that unless you are completed fucked you can't appreciate anything because you can't dance. So in essence you've wasted like £15-30. sik m8.

3.) Cirque des fuck down

HAHAAHAHAAHAHA I'm still laughing at that. Right so then you get the really 'exclusive' London clubs that are filled with rich Arabs and Russians. I haven't been to many, and I do want to go to Cirque Du Soire or whatever. The thought of getting turned down from 'Whisky Mist' for not wearing heels and looking like a slut does make me feel ill though. Shout out to the following for being dogSHIT:
Tonteria, Aura, Tiger Tiger and DSTRKT. Fair enough if you enjoy it, it's not my thing. I like looking at the professional pictures of Grey Goose and sparklers tho so keep em coming. ;)

4: My faVoUriTe PlAce:

Shout the fuk out to BUSSEY BUILDING, for never letting me down. This place is so fun and yeah lurv it. U gO Bussey u go!!!



  1. preachin it b xoxo

  2. This is total shit, write more like a 13 year old and you could get a column for vice

  3. How about Arts Clube?

  4. omg thanks id love to get more feedback from you!!! email me. x

  5. oh yeah I love de Nottin Hill Arts club !! depends what night doe, stay clear of the latino one XXX


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