29 October 2013

ju$t dance


This week has been pretty weird. I ate brunch two days In a row which is cool. Going to brunch makes me feel wurth it; like maybe I don't live in south, maybe I drive a Porsche in Knightsbridge. Ya know? Like getting that fresh OJ just hits you and you feel really sick. Lol.

m88 dis drop is live!!!!!!
A lot of people have been recently hating on my dance moves, and this makes me livid. I've got comments such as 'ur rigid' 'ur weird' or 'u must be trippin let's get you some water'. Sick. I don't really get how people can go out, listen to gr8 music and not get up. I've reached the point where I dance alone and i think I look good. The reality is most people think the dougie mixed with the robot doesn't look cool at all. But skrew the h8rs. My friend and I have made up a dance move where you run and leap in the air , like a ballet style thing. I recently met a he/she as in I couldn't establish what gender this person was. Man/woman claimed to be a professional dancer, starring in Katy Perry's teenage dream video. I swear they didn't even have dancers. I then said I was in 'Blurred Lines', 'da chick in the lingerie behind my boi Pharrell' therefore we needed a dance off. 'It' looked threatened, and I could see a look of poison in their eyes like 'dis bitch can't out dance me.' As soon I got up there and started, they laughed and said 'I thort u were being serious.' I got really upset and calmed down in the toilet. 

 The people who don't dance either really can't dance for shit or still care about what otherz think. So they stand there making awks small talk with Each other and probably snigger at me gettin low. Instead of living they are being spectators /commentators which sux. I feel bad for you. :(
i dnt c nuffink wrong... wid a lil bump n grind !!!cute
Next time you go out dance lyk nObOdY iS wAtChiN. 'Just d@nce'- lady Gaga

14 October 2013

2 flirt or not 2 flirt

Since I go on loads of dates now ( bby cries ) , I have had some time to reflect on my mannerisms.
Unfortunately, I have come to the startling revelation that I can't flirt. Maybe this is why some people think I'm a dyke. Sowwi that I don't twiddle my hair guyz!

A couple of years ago my friend tried to help me socialise with guys. She initiated a kind of role play, which I took a bit too seriously; counting myself into the 'scene', as if I was on Hollyoaks or something. Now looking at it, it seems slightly disturbing, but at the time this exercise seemed thrillin and *#^ new *^%^. She pretended to be a kind of lad, saying something like 'you're looking fit today' (keep in mind I had at this point in my life, side burns and hair like Peter Pan.) I kind of seized up and sad something like 'really?!?!?!'. My poor friend said she needed the toilet and never returned. Awks.
x...da look of luv..x
 Nowadays, my technique is just to be quite rude. I don't know why, but it just happens. For example 'u look interesting today', followed by a disgusted look on my face is a classic annzdog pick up line. In my mind it sounds like flanta (flirty banta), but when the guy either starts crying or ignoring me I clock I've been to harsh. A good ten minutes later I'll 'redeem' the situation with a 'only jking dude you look gorjus'.  I called a guy bro the other day and he seemed offended I called him that, so said 'bro'?. Again thinking I'd be 'playful', I replied 'o fuk, ur clearly not my bro because if we were related you'd be better looking.' He didn't reply. I assured myself he was probably jerking off at how much that line screamed 'cum get me'.

Most girls give those tips like 'subtly touch da boy I.e when he's telling a joke and it's funni.'. That's not my style, I mean it's just awkward.

The shit that really sickens me is the whole year 6 sext thing, where the boy is like 'tell me wht u wud do to me if u were here now ;)'. LOL. Sweeet.

In  a fucked up warped way I guess being nice means I'm not into it and being mean says I am. Yolo.

'I was born dis way'- Lady Gaga

Anna fuggin Dog xxxxxxx