50 shades of beige


I haven't written in here after my friends read my posts aloud to me and I found out how lame I sound. It was like hearing yourself recorded and you're like "do I really sound like this?".

So far I've been on a few dates with men (lol). I guess I had a phobia of d8z before, I mean the thought of sitting with some guy and asking generic questions lulls me into sleep. Especially going to eat. When I'm sitting down and I feel really under pressure and I speak to much and laugh at my own jokes. Also guys only talk about themselves so I'd rather watch a movie or talk to a dog.

I met a dude called Franco and lapped that up, ie made it out that I wad dating James Franco and was most probably on the home page of Perez Hilton (it gurl!!!!!!!!). The biting reality was that he was from Argentina and was in a folk band. Sounds kind of alt but it wasn't, due to the pick up line of "did u steal a book from Rough Trade"? (Wtf) and them weird texts saying 'Franco :) x' on them. We went on a romantic date to KFC, as I promised to show him all the hotspots in London.

 Other date was shit. I met up with some relevant (friends with indie bandz) dude and he took me and my friend to The Alibi in Dalston. When I go out I don't like to socialize , I only dance, so I was praying this flea pit had a mosh/twerk floor. We get there and he's no oil painting,but whatever, that's not the point.He then proceeded to make really uplifting 'jkz' such as 'whats the point of romance, were all going to die alone.' Cutie pie or wot??? We get to this place, which was a classic hipster basement bar, with awks music that you couldn't dance to or hear anyone speaking over. Plus it was so hot I felt like I was on menopause. Whatever, he bought us a drink and I started dancing in the middle of the 'floor' with my friend, as everyone kind of glared at us. I maybe got a bit carried away/thought I was Channing Tatum in Step Up and started walking out the room and re appearing, with some kind of offensive moon walk. The synthed out Weeknd music was making me want to slit my wrists so I kindly threw my iPad at the barman, who I think was in Bombay bicycle Club, to play One More Time by Daft Punk (classic). He was like 'why?' And I said 'yolo'. As if I'd called Him a cunt or something, he gave me some That's So Raven eye expression and handed me the iPad. Jesus Christ. The ass hole date I came with was sitting alone, and started talked to fucking Diana Vickers, claiming that this encounter was 'awkward'. I got angry and started  singing 'once once yeah-ah' really loudly. We then left without saying goodbye and bought a drink called 'MD' so I could say I've technically taken MD. Lol.

I've now spammed him with hate mail.

Basically, guy can't fux with dog loving dancerz. I rest my case.



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